Results 1 to 14 of 14

Thread: Chevy Jokes

  1. #1
    Resident: Car Thief ShitboxISfaster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Orygone
    Age
    28
    Posts
    4,719
    Rep Power
    2409

    Chevy Jokes

    This is a Copy&paste off a Myspace. but its funny



    Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
    A: Put gas in it.

    Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
    A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

    Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
    A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.

    Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
    A: As much as the Ford towing it.

    Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a Tampon?
    A. A tampon comes with its own tow rope

    Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
    A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys

    Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
    A. Push it off a cliff.

    Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
    A. The bus schedule.

    Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
    A. Sounds like a fair trade.

    Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
    A. A miracle?

    Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
    A. A mirage.

    Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
    A. Customized.

    Q. How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
    A. Turn the engine off.

    Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
    A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.

    Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
    A. Shock absorbers.

    Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
    A. Park it between two Fords

    Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
    A. A shopping cart is easier to push.

    Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
    A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop

    Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
    A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.

    Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
    A. Would you like a tow home?

    Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
    A. Put a Ford engine in it.

    Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
    A. To push his Chevy into the shop

    Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
    A. Because his Silverado got stuck.

    Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
    A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.

    CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

    CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.

    CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.

    CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.

    CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.

    CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed

    CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

    GMC= Garage Man's Companion

    GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company

    GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming

    GMC= Gay Mans Chariot

    GM= General Mistake

    GM= Glued Metal

    GM - Mark of Ignorance

    A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Chevy, YOU ride in it!!!"

    Ashes to ashes,
    dust to dust.
    If it wasn't for our Chevy's,
    our tools would rust.

    From the past 10 years, about 95% of Chevy trucks are still on the
    road. The rest made it home.

    Have you seen the new speed limit signs? They say "Speed limit 65, Chevys-do the best you can"

    Thats not a leak, my Chevy's just marking its territory.

    Buy a Chevy and you buy the best. Drive the first mile and walk the rest.

    I could never keep a Chevy under me, I was always under the Chevy.

    Speed Kills, Drive a Chevy and live forever.

    You can Ford a stream, you can Dodge a stream, but a Chevy will sit and rust in a stream.

    A Texan was talking big in a bar one night about how much money he
    had, how many women he had been with and how much land he owned. A young man, growing tired of all the big talk finally asked the Texan, "Just how much land do you actually own"? The Texan tipped back his cowboy hat and said to the young man " Well sonny let me put it to ya like this, I can get in my pickup at sunrise, drive all day long, skip lunch and still not get to the other side of my property by sundown". The young man shot back quickly, " Oh yeah, I know what you mean, I used to own a Chevy truck to
    Rig: Lifted/locked 5.9 ZJ w/bolt ons
    11mpg on Premium pump fuel...
    4650lbs dry weight...
    0-60 6.5 seconds...
    Sub-14s in the 1/4...
    GO.. Anywhere.. Anytime..

  2. #2
    I Got Dumped. lowakkord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Stratford, Ontario
    Age
    26
    Posts
    3,106
    Rep Power
    396
    funny... but chevy > ford.
    1991 H22a Honda Accord Ex-R
    1998 B20b Honda Cr-v Lx - Retired.
    1993 GMC Sonoma

  3. #3
    I am banned!
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    none of your fuckin business
    Age
    29
    Posts
    4,555
    Rep Power
    0
    ^^ im with you........ ford sucks balls

  4. #4
    Official AT Rep Whore 95accordex4d's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Reading, PA
    Age
    23
    Posts
    988
    Rep Power
    823
    haha you need to find one for dodge too

  5. #5
    Accord Tuner Accord9422's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Charlotte,NC
    Age
    30
    Posts
    705
    Rep Power
    40
    yeah..i'd buy a chevy truck b 4 a ford truck n e day..silverados r killin f-150s!!

  6. #6
    Tropical Oxen Optical Toxin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NoVa
    Age
    23
    Posts
    7,551
    Rep Power
    3753
    yeah, i don't find this funny because i know that Chevrolet makes a great truck. my dad's friend just bought a new 07 silverado and it's NICE.

  7. #7
    The Power Of Your Dreams JerseyAccord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    South Jersey
    Age
    27
    Posts
    2,166
    Rep Power
    26738
    It would be much funnier if they were all jokes against fords.

    Chevys > Fords FTMFW
    CD Squad #163
    XBL- JerseyAccord

  8. #8
    I Got Dumped. lowakkord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Stratford, Ontario
    Age
    26
    Posts
    3,106
    Rep Power
    396
    its good to see were all against ford. thank god.
    1991 H22a Honda Accord Ex-R
    1998 B20b Honda Cr-v Lx - Retired.
    1993 GMC Sonoma

  9. #9
    And What! BlitZaccord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Fort Worth, Texas
    Age
    26
    Posts
    1,213
    Rep Power
    216
    Found this on a website

    Fix Or Repair Daily
    ·Forget Off Road Driving
    ·Fought Off Recall Demands
    ·Fast Only Rolling Downhill
    ·For Only Retarded Drivers
    ·Forget On Race Day
    ·Found On Roadside Destroyed
    ·Found On Rubbish Dump
    ·Backwards... Driver Returns On Foot
    ·Backwards... Don't Ride Over Fifty
    ·Backwards... Drivers Run Over Furby
    ·Found On Road Dead
    ·Factory Ordered Road Disaster
    ·Factory Ordered Rebuilt Dodge
    ·Fords Only Run Downhill
    ·For Old Rickety Drivers
    ·Fords Only Race Dogs
    ·Fat Old Retarded Dodge
    ·Flip Over Read Directions
    ·Four Old Rusted Doors
    ·Fixed On Race Day
    ·Ford Owner Really Dumb
    ·Fabrication Ordinaire Reparation Dispendieuse (French for ordinary fabrication expensive repairs.)
    ·Ford Owners Recommend Dodge
    ·Flipped Over Russian Dune buggy
    ·Found On Russian Dump
    ·For Off Road Death
    ·Friggin Oakies Really Dig'em'
    ·Funky Old Road Dog
    ·Found On Roadside's Destroyed
    ·First On Recall Day

    Here I sit All broken-hearted
    Bought a Ford
    That almost started

    I bought a Ford
    And got it loaded
    It laid down
    And then exploded

    I took it in
    To get repaired
    No such thing
    Ford ain't prepared

    Got it home
    In great disgust
    Now it sits
    Collecting dust

    When it died
    My friends agreed
    It's one less chance
    To hit a tree

    The price you pay
    To own a Ford
    Is just one side
    Of a double-edged sword


    "If you don't have time to do something right, when will you have time to do it over"

  10. #10
    I Got Dumped. lowakkord's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Stratford, Ontario
    Age
    26
    Posts
    3,106
    Rep Power
    396
    hahaha.
    1991 H22a Honda Accord Ex-R
    1998 B20b Honda Cr-v Lx - Retired.
    1993 GMC Sonoma

  11. #11
    ROTM-September cleancoupe94's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Los Angeles, CA
    Age
    27
    Posts
    1,161
    Rep Power
    638
    Fords Blowwwwww

  12. #12
    Official AT Rep Whore 95accordex4d's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    Reading, PA
    Age
    23
    Posts
    988
    Rep Power
    823
    hahaha great stuff but someone still needs dodge jokes

  13. #13
    Toyota Tech in Training AccordSiR97's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Bradenton, Fl
    Age
    24
    Posts
    667
    Rep Power
    133
    ford, vehicle fires FTW!
    ______________________________________

    ______________________________________
    ITBs let the cylinders breathe freely, and boosting is like rape, you dont have a choice its going in no matter what

  14. #14
    Tropical Oxen Optical Toxin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    NoVa
    Age
    23
    Posts
    7,551
    Rep Power
    3753
    word, there was quite an issue with a certain mustang that caused a lot of havoc.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Chevy C10
    By dark side pres in forum The Chop Shop
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: September 17th, 2006, 02:21 AM
  2. Project: Low On Dough Chevy C-10
    By baggedminiz in forum General Chat
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: August 14th, 2006, 03:20 PM
  3. old chevy
    By dark side pres in forum The Chop Shop
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: April 28th, 2006, 11:30 PM
  4. Jokes
    By Smeee in forum Humor
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: February 20th, 2006, 03:28 PM
  5. blackmexican jokes (IM NOT A RACIST!)
    By 061900 in forum Humor
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: July 3rd, 2003, 02:05 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •